On the night before Christmas—
we tried to fly through the air—
hoping to the grand kid’s house
we would soon be there.
We went to the airport
and the terminal with a clatter,
and came face-to-face
with the naked body scanner.
“Feel me up,” said Ed Schultz
“I want you to!”
But no one wanted to touch him
and they let him right through
We tried to step by
when up walked a man,
with a big fat belly
and blue gloves on his hands.
“I was hoping you’d do that,”
he said with a grin.
“To the pat-down area
you can step right in.”
We walked past the two-year olds,
the threes and the fours,
and half-naked men and women
with bare feet on the floor.
He started with my husband
fondling that way and this
feeling him up
without even a kiss
He had a problem
with my husband’s metal knees
that he got defending the Constitution
in the South China Seas
He went and got a woman
to take care of me
she stripped off my clothing
down to the knees
Her hands moved up and down
she fondled my breast
to all of my body
she gave it no rest.
To the luggage the man moved
I yelled, “Don’t touch my junk!”
He gave a big belly laugh
and opened the trunk.
His eyes grew quite wide
as he looked at our things
he pulled them all out
and threw them in the air with a fling
“NO Playstations, no clothing!”
he said with a shout
as he emptied the trunk
and threw them all out
“NO clothing, no books,
no things on a spindle!”
Why he even threw out,
our six-year old’s Kindle.
“Now you can fly safely,”
he said really calm
“Because we’ve protected you
from terrible Islam!”
“They won’t come here,
they can’t get past this order!”
That’s probably why
they cross the Mexican border.
We have no fear of flying
but after through all we went
our only fear now
is of our own government.
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