Or what goes on in the mind of an idiot
Since she got the alarm clock, you might want the ringtone:
Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
Katie Couric on Islam
Friday, March 18th, 2011Found on Freedom Torch
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
Come to think of it, I would still like to boycott them as long as possible.
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From the email…
Wednesday, February 9th, 2011Learn from your elders
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.
This catches the senior’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. ‘What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?’
The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.
After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
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“Green” Hornet 2011
Saturday, February 5th, 2011
Punxsutawney Phil & Staten Island Chuck agree on Groundhog Day: Spring to come early this year
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011Happy Groundhog Day!
Puxatony Phil, the original ground hog and Constitutionalists saw his shadow today, as you might have read. He predicted an early spring and more opportunity to grow your garden for food for your family. Crops will flourish and food prices should stabilize as a result of the wonderful weather that God will provide.
Staten Island Chuck, Democrat from New York, said that the climate shift will cause a rise in the oceans wiping half of the human race from the face of the map. The early global warming effect will drown Polar bears out of existence. Crops will fail because the CO2 (That plants need to survive) will kill them.
Thus the scientific proof of global warming.
Please Note: The opinion of Staten Island Chuck does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Constitutional Republic Party or their subsidiaries. Being from New York, he may be a Democrat. We are likely to go with the prediction of Punxsutawney Phil, however, since it all began with him and we believe he may be Republican.
The groundhogs have spoken – spring will come early this year.
Staten Island Chuck made prediction Wednesday morning even as he was pelted by freezing rain during the latest in a seemingly never-ending series of winter storms.
“Spring is coming,” cried Mayor Bloomberg as he held the wet woodchuck aloft.
His wooden home encased in a sheet of ice, Chuck bounded outside and seemed unfazed by the crowd of photographers and fans.
Read more at the New York Daily News.
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A couple of things America got right.
Sunday, January 23rd, 2011
Breaking: FOX News Hires Olbermann
Sunday, January 23rd, 2011The Gateway Pundit Network site is reporting that FOX News has been working tirelessly on its schedules to create a spot appropriate for ex-MSNBC talking head Keith Olbermann.
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The Romper Room you’ve never seen.
Saturday, January 8th, 2011
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (6.7MB)
Romper Room is TMRiver West Brands.
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The Obama Illusion
Thursday, January 6th, 2011Whose watching?
Sunday, January 2nd, 2011
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 31st, 2010
You picked a fine time to lead us Barrack
Saturday, December 25th, 2010Never teach a new dog old tricks.
Friday, December 17th, 2010Glen C. Davis
This being a cautionary tale, the caution is this. If your dog is watching CSpan, cut the cable.
Some may not understand the politics involved in the recent Omnibus spending issue between Reid and the Republicans. I believe I might have found a way to explain the situation. My dog wanted to go out, this morning, while I was trying to work, and we had a conversation which I shall try to relate as an analogy to the Congress.
I preface by stating emphatically that I do not claim my dog has the power of speech. I relate his words through his actions because, as we know, actions speak louder than words.
Secondly, we are a unicameral house. That is, my household makes up its own Constitution in full compliance with the Constitution of the United States. I do not have to go to my neighbors house to ask their opinion. As far as I know, my neighbors have not watched the videos in Walmart of Janet Napolitano telling us to report our neighbors for “suspicious activity.” They keep their nose out of my business and I keep my nose out of theirs. Unless, of course, some major action happens where we must come together to defend against some intrusion. Therefore, some of this discussion applies to goings-on in the House of Representatives and some in the Senate. The Senate can filibuster, for example, while that practice is forbidden in the House.
Third, I am an Independent more aligned with the Libertarian preached philosophy of adherence to the Constitution of the United States. I will amplify the discussion with examples from the government in parenthesis.
So this morning at 6 a.m. my dog woke me. We went outside so that he could take care of some paperwork. We returned and he had his breakfast. He knows that he is not to bother me when I start on the computer in the morning, but after about an hour he did.
He put his paw on my leg and told me that he wanted to go outside and play in the snow.
I explained that I have to study and write and market my informative articles to people who are in need or want the information that I am relating. This is the manner in which I try to make money so that I can feed him.
{We must find a way to bilk taxpayers by making them feel we are giving them something they need or want so that our fact-finding missions to the Bahamas do not end.}
He reminds me that he has an Eighth Amendment protection against, “…cruel and unusual punishments…”
{Democrat Phil Hariss of Illinois: “I don’t worry about the Constitution on this, to be honest.” Democrat Alcee Hastings of Florida: “They ain’t no rules around here. We’re trying to accomplish something. And therefore (chuckle), when the deal goes down, uh, all this talk about. uh, rules we make ‘em up as we go along.}
I say that I will stay here until I am finished working and he will have to wait.
{Reid threatened to hold a vote on the Omnibus spending bill the day after Christmas keeping the Senate in Washington if he had to.}
My dog climbed on my lap and said that he intended to filibuster until I took him out. And I could not eject him if he made a mess on the floor of the house due to my inaction.
I am writing this article after we returned from our walk.
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